WTF am I doing?? I again... picked up and left my life behind for Jon... again, like an idiot. In the few months that we've been back together he no longer has ANY intention of marrying me and no longer has ANY intention of having a family with me, so why am I with him? I keep asking myself that. He doesn't do anything for me. All he does is pay my way through life and fucks my brains out. That's not a partnership. I cook, I clean, I do whatever he asks of me, and all I want is something resembling a future with him and I don't even get that. So I'm just gonna do me... He's taking advantage of me emotionally, so why not take advantage of him financially. I'll just use him while I go to school, start my career, and make myself happy while he makes himself happy being waited on hand and foot while playing SC2 and not even noticing how far away we're drifting. Then eventually someone will come along ans sweep me off my feet, I'll leave him & he won't even fight for me 'cos he's a fucking pansy AND on top of all things he'll wonder why...
I want to fix things, but at the same time I don't see the fucking point. He's made things pretty fucking clear. I just don't know. I could try, but nothing is going to change... I just feel so alone...
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